A letter to anxiety.

I pen this letter to my anxiety; new friend, somehow I know you are here to stay.

A late night candle burner, an unexpected caller. Your ability to dramatically change the mood of the room in an instant is an astounding feat. No matter what strategies I bank on to combat your strength over me, one by one you master and humiliatingly kick them to the curb.

My friend, my foe; keep your enemies closer. I had the strength, the answers, but mostly I was determined to ignore you. I knew admitting you were here to stay would entertain weakness, speculate lack of resilience. But the first step was acceptance. You were and are my late night comrade, my ride or die- sometimes into the depths of an anxious viscous, circle in my mind.

But although you are my constant twin and you may have the power to enter my mind, I won’t let you call long. If I have been taught anything by our friendship, it is that a healthy relationship takes work. I will constantly work to vanquish and subdue you. I compose a list of promises to myself, I will share them with you my friend.

I promise to live in the breath, live in the moment.

I promise to not carry tomorrows baggage with todays muscles. I do not need two loads, because todays load was enough.

I promise to strive to not let my hardships consume me with anxiety, as they say the darkest night holds the brightest stars.

This is my mantra, in every breath when you visit. And although I realise you will be a constant, my friend you will not control me.

“Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its suffering, it empties today of its strength.”